Recap 2019: Zulkarnaen

11:18 PM

December 2019 - I was sitting alone at BERNAMA's cafe during lunch-break while log on my PUBG Mobile. I saw another invitation from Naen Lee to play along as my team but I declined. After a week on 18th, his invitation to play along on PUBG Mobile is finally accepted. We played several rounds until 3am. That was how I met Zulkarnaen. On 29th, I invited him to a theme park, MAPS Ipoh along with my friends. Ironically, I was the one who invited him on our so-called-first-date. I started to have a feeling on Zulkarnaen. I want him as my one true partner. We talked all nights, we talked all days.

January 2019 - I became closer with Zulkarnaen and a week later, I met him again in Penang for a work trip. I also made a new friend, Afiqa. After a year, me and Fiqa had a chance to talk and we became best-friend since then. I got two best-friends now which is Que & Fiqa also a boyfriend, Zulkarnaen. We made a lot of memories in Penang. Zulkarnaen said those 8 letters for the first time to me at the beautiful place and I won’t forget that.

February 2019 - It was my first time I took a flight alone from KL to Penang. Just to see Zulkarnaen and met his family. Everything went smoothly. We also spent our time together knowing each other.

March 2019 - Zulkarnaen met my family, my mother was so excited in welcoming him. My grandmother was there too and she liked him so much until my father couldn’t refuse him. On the next day Zulkarnaen met my family members, they discussed about our wedding date. It was impossible for a boyfriend to discuss about wedding on the first time he met the girlfriend's family members. Surprisingly but he did. So we had our wedding date and it all went smoothly Alhamdulillah.

April 2019 - Zulkarnaen and I had fights and arguments a lot. We almost cancel our Merisik Day and discontinue this relationship. I was so unstable and my emotions up and down that I could not even think what I said to Zulkarnaen. He tried to comfort me as well and he succeed. But after fights, we still love each other and trying to be better than before.

May 2019 - We celebrated Ramadan together. It was our first Ramadan before we engaged. We did not have a chance to date on this month which make us deeply miss each other and excited to meet on our engagement day.

June 2019 - Zulkarnaen and I are engaged. Merisik day went smoothly at my kampung alhamdulillah. That day, our relationship moved to the next level. I could not be so happy that the man I wanted has become my potential husband. I can't believe that I got Zulkarnaen officially.

July 2019 - Visiting United Kingdom with my bestfriends, Que and Fiqa for two weeks isn't in my 2019's to-do-lists but I made it. I thought it was a mistake but that's gonna be the last holiday trip and I'll be in Zulkarnaen's arms forever. The holiday trip was tremendous. United Kingdom is my dream place and I wish to be back again with Zulkarnaen soon. When I visited Anfield Stadium, Liverpool, I had a video-call with Zulkarnaen and he's really happy to see the stadium because he loves Liverpool so much. I also went to Harry Potter's shooting place, God I miss UK so much hope that I can be back again and be a personal shopper lol.

August 2019 - I celebrated my birthday with my family and Zulkarnaen at my home. Mum bought me a birthday cake and Zulkarnaen gave me a pair of shoes that I really want it for so long. I love the shoes so much. It's gonna be the last birthday as a bujang. Apart from that, I received a new job offer and I resigned at BERNAMA. All praise to Allah that He answered my prayers to be close with my future husband a year before we get married. It was my dream career to work in my dream type of company alhamdulillah. Zulkarnaen is a bless from Allah which is given for me, his existence make my life even better.

September 2019 - I started my new career on September and managed to deliver my task effectively. Besides, I kinda undergo a really bad situation where I thought living in Penang was a mistake but I chose to be with Zulkarnaen so I sacrificed everything, my family & my friends. I've been in Selangor after I was born and never left Selangor, so I wasn't ready to leave the hometown. Zulkarnaen is the only person that I have now because I know no one else here. I'm thankful that he is so strong to calm me down and day by day, I feel ready. I may not fancy Penang but my favourite person and his family is in Penang and so does my dream career. I can only move forward.

October 2019 - I celebrated Zulkarnaen's birthday with his family. It his turn now, the last birthday in his bujang's life. So I treat Zulkarnaen and his family shell-out menu on dinner. I love to see how happy he was on that day. I'm gonna celebrated every year.

November 2019 - It was my friend's wedding, I had a moment with my friends, my two bestfriends back again along with Zulkarnaen. After couple months I resigned, I finally met them again at my favourite place, Ipoh. I don't know why I love Ipoh so much but Ipoh is like the center between Penang and KL, my first date with Zulkarnaen also in Ipoh so there's a lot of memories there. We had a walk at Plan B and hang out around Ipoh.

December 2019 - This month is my first anniversary with Zulkarnaen. I encountered an emotionally pain which giving me a "wake up call". Zulkarnaen and I fought and argued really bad. We almost ended our relationship again. I realize that I cause trouble a lot to Zulkarnaen, I made a mistake and I was angry with myself. We hurt each other back then. I lied to Zulkarnaen that I don't love him and I don't even need him anymore. This happen because I feel that Zulkarnaen rarely call me and met me at my place. I feel down and terrible. It was because of less communication that we fought on. But then, we forgave each other and apologized. We promised that we will strive to be better on our chapter 2, we gave each other chance and try again. No matter how much I took the pain in my relationship, I still have faith in it. With all the fights and arguments, there’s a love that is still left in our heart.

"To love, more communication, be loyal and trust."

Memories Video By Zulkarnaen

The Ending Of Me

With all the mistakes I’ve done makes me learning. I am no where near good, I have lost once, I’ve been crying for couple days which makes my eyes swollen and my heart shattered. Of all the things I've caused him, I realize that I was wrong all this while. I understand that I cannot get too attached with someone even if they’re mine. I understand that letting go is part of loving. And I truly understand that love needs to sacrifice. I understand that a true relationship wasn't easy and can never be easy. I understand that I don't need to use my energy to worry but I'm gonna use this energy to believe, create, trust, grow and heal.‬ If I do not change my direction, I may end up to where I am heading. It’s time for me to improvise myself. Even better. For the sake of Allah SWT.

Single Life

We can say that single life is happier, I can go out with my friends everyday without asking permission. I can say that my single life is enjoyable, mingling with all guys out there, also can be on the dance-floor every weekend. There is no sadness, no one can hurt me. I’m happier, so much happier than current day. But until when? My heart is empty and bored. I want a life with my true partner. Since I started to get into a relationship, I encountered lot of things in the same boat with my partner, this life is more challenging and not as bored as single life. I ain’t tired, my life now is complete unlike before when I’m single. Being with Zulkarnaen, I feel happy, sad, love, terrible, strong, pain, jealousy, peaceful.. I feel a feeling I have never had before. In conclusion, loving a single-life-with-no-problems is not healthy. I need some challenges in this life.

This world is temporary. Zulkarnaen is my eternal, he is my dunya and akhirah. I don't live in this world for nothing but I'm gonna live this Dunya to have a better life in Akhirah. Zulkarnaen and I will lift each other up living in this world for the sake of Allah SWT and as rewards, we will meet again in afterlife and live like a fairy-tale together.. happier... forever, so what's more than that?

I'm thankful for Allah SWT because He answered all my prayers. This is my recap 2019 that I can flex on. A story about Zulkarnaen.

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  1. semoga dipermudahkan segala urusan <3

  2. Omg it's been so long so i last read your blog. I'm so happppyy to read this. Congratulations. Wishing you good days ahead. Stay safe too, Kak Lala! <3